


Abomination

by akirahiguchi



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:12:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akirahiguchi/pseuds/akirahiguchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He was my light and my darkness, my life and my demise, my peace and my war, my love and my nemesis. I wanted to rip him apart and feel him with every inch of my being, I hated how weak I became around him. I was torn, for I could not stop this avalanche of wants and needs but I had to. He was not supposed to love me because he knew that one day he was going to leave forever. We couldn't get our happy ending; in this life, we didn't deserve it. That did not stop me from wanting him more and more every passing day."</p>
<p>The story somewhat follows the anime's timeline, but mostly only the major events. I know some of you might be alarmed because of the OC but I hope you will still give the story a chance. The snippet above is from a late chapter, I believe that love takes time to develop. I hope you enjoy reading my story as much as I love writing it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> We get to know the main character a little bit. Serena's point of view. Lot of talking, no serious warnings.

Chapter 1: Awakening

Pain. So much pain. Is the fight already over? I must’ve lost, how pathetic. I tried to open my eyes but they were so stubborn, they just wouldn’t open. I needed to look at that bastard and yell at him for not letting me go. Why did he have to fight me? He didn’t understand, none of them did. I just needed to get away from that place, that cruel, poisonous place that I had to call home my whole life. 

“I think she’s awake now.” The voice next to me was strange to me, but I could tell that he was young. Did I manage to get away? Someone must’ve found me. I prepared myself for the pain as I tried to move my hand in front of my eyes but there was nothing. No pain, no tingling, no nothing. I almost hit myself in the face from the excitement.

“Where the hell am I?” I asked with all the confusion in my voice that I could gather. And anger of course, for I was enraged.

“In your house,” said a different, also young voice. He clearly did not understand why I would ask such an obvious question, except that there was absolutely no way that I could be in my house, because I did not own a goddamn house. No one would be that stupid to call the Dark Order my house either, it is a little bigger than that. 

“Are you okay?” Asked the first voice and I could hear myself snort. My eyes finally started getting used to the brightness, so I could look at my surroundings. Yes, I was definitely at a house but I had no recollection of it. I was sure that I had never set foot in there, yet here I was. I sat up to take a better look and I realized that I had just been laying on a couch with a stranger sitting next to me. 

“And who are you?” I asked rather rudely but he didn’t seem to care, he just smiled at me calmly. It was one of those contagious smiles that I hated. I already decided that I was not going like him very much. He was young but his hair was white for some reason, which made him look very strange. Although it was not any stranger than the cut on the left side of his face that ended in a pentagram above his eye. Now, that made me even more curious about who he was. Somehow, I didn’t mind his look at all.

“I’m Allen and that is Lavi but you already knew that,” he said and he did not just pretend confusion, I could tell that he really believed we had met before. Usually, I am pretty good with faces and he definitely had one that I could never forget. The other guy was less unique looking but still, I would have remembered him too. His hair was so red it was almost burning my eyes and he too, had that smile. Looking at his clothes I could immediately tell that he was an Exorcist, and I had no doubt that the Order sent them to “collect” me. I had to get away. 

“What are you two doing here anyways?” I did not care if I was rude, there was no reason I would be nice to people who wanted to take me back to that hellhole. And I wasn’t a nice person anyways.

“You invited us in yesterday, Serena,” said Lavi like he was talking to a child. A child whose name was apparently Serena, and as far as I knew that was not me. However, if they thought I was Serena, who had a house, then they were not after me. 

“Oh, yes, I am sorry, I am still a little groggy,” I lied. “What happened?”

“You were gardening when two Akumas appeared. I went outside to help but by the time I got there they were gone. I ran to you to see if you were okay but you said you never saw them,” said Allen. Of course I didn’t see them, the last thing I remembered was fighting not gardening. It was obvious that someone had me under some very nasty illusion and even bothered to create a new persona for me. How nice. “When I touched you, you passed out. It is very likely that there is an Innocence nearby.”

“And that’s why you’re here?” I asked. I knew that there was no Innocence here, the Akumas were probably attracted to the barrier that the illusion created, but they did not know that. Fortunately, this gave me a way to escape: I just needed to send them away with some made up lead. Allen was about to answer me but suddenly Lavi reached for his pocket and a second later I could feel something cold pushing against my sternum. It was his anti-Akuma weapon, which took the shape of an enormous hammer. I was busted.

“See, we have been doing this for a while. No civilian ever knew what Akuma or Innocence were. You, on the other hand, didn’t even flinch when Allen mentioned it.” His voice was angry and the tip of his weapon dug further into my skin. “Who are you?”

“You’re right, I am an Exorcist.” There was no way I could pretend that I was just a normal girl anymore, but fortunately there were so many other things I could lie about. “I have been trapped in here, I don’t know how long.”

“I have never heard of you. What branch do you belong to?” Allen finally caught up and joined in the questioning. The niceness disappeared from his silver eyes and suspicion took over. 

“North America,” I said finally. It was the most logical choice since I knew that there was very little chance that I was in America. Last I remembered, I had made it all the way to Belgium before they found me. It was very unlikely that someone dragged my body all the way across the ocean. On top of that, the North American branch was extremely secretive, it would make sense if they never heard of me. “Where are we right now?”

“We are in Bulgaria. So you’re saying you were under some very intense illusion?” Asked Lavi and I knew he didn’t believe me. Understandably. Although he did lower his weapon. They meet some girl living alone in the middle of nowhere and then she passes out and wakes up as an Exorcist. I would’ve probably killed me if I were them.

“Yes, I believe so.” I nodded but I didn’t seem to convince them. “You must be wondering why. My blood is an Innocence.” Their expression on their face quickly turned from distrust to surprise, and they stared at me for a while before they could say anything. Innocence come in every shape and form but blood was definitely something they had never heard of.

“What makes your blood an Innocence?” Asked Allen, confused. 

“It can heal,” I said simply but the two Exorcist seemed fascinated. “I am probably the only Exorcist without real combat power.” Well, that was not exactly true but I could not let them know the full extent of my power; that would most likely unveil the truth about my real identity.

“Your blood is probably the reason why you were locked in here. Is it possible that you were kidnapped?” Asked Allen and I shrugged my shoulders. This was good, they were putting things into my mouth, things they wanted to hear.

“What year is it?” I just realized that I didn’t even know how long it had been. Judging by the fact that I didn’t know these two, I had to be a few years. What a shame, losing the years of my youth. Not that it would’ve been any better than my childhood was, maybe it is best this way. 

“1968,” said Allen, which almost made me choke on the air. I could feel my whole body go completely numb and suddenly I felt cold. It had been 9 years… Nine years of my life were just gone and they were never coming back. A few years wouldn’t have mattered, but I had been gone for almost a decade. No matter how much I hated my life, I was still alive. 

“It’s been a while, I guess,” I said with pretense calmness. However, I could not tell them how long it actually been, I am sure there were not many other people that disappeared around the time I did. I finally collected myself and got off the couch to look for a mirror; I needed to see the years on my face. I found a small mirror hanging on the back of the door and I approached it slowly. I took a big breath and braced myself to see the new, old me, but she wasn’t there. The same face looked back at me that I remembered, only my hair was longer. It used to barely go below my ears but now it was all the way down to my lower back even though it was slightly wavy. For a 24-year-old, I looked a lot like 15. At least I didn’t actually lose those years. Someone made sure that I was well hidden and even if I get discovered, I wouldn’t be recognized. Why would someone make all this effort to hide me?

“How long?” Asked Lavi, no, he demanded. He was clearly very confused about why I had to look at myself so urgently. I almost told him off, but then I realized that the more I lied, the less they had to find out themselves and I could minimize the chances that they would uncover the truth about me. 

“About a year,” I said finally. “I need to find Marian.” He was the last person I saw, so I have a feeling he knows exactly what happened. That brat, he always annoyed me.

“Who? You mean General Cross?” Asked Allen, surprised. I couldn’t resist, I chuckled. There was no way that idiot Marian was a General. He was always very strong, but I never thought he had what it took. I guess calling him by his first name was not the right choice by me.

“Yes, sorry, he was the one who found me when I was a little girl. In North America. We go way back.” That sounded really bad, crap. Why do these people talk so much? Lying is hard.

“What a coincidence, we are looking for him too,” said Allen but I could hear a little sarcasm in his voice. I didn’t know if he was lying, his silver eyes showed no emotion. However, there was no way they would let me go on my own, especially because I could sense their distrust. 

“For what?” I snorted. There was no sane person who would want to be around that man. He was nothing but trouble, everyone knew that.

“The Noah Clan is targeting all the Generals.” The explanation came from Lavi, who was still gripping his anti-Akuma weapon. Who the hell is the Noah Clan? I must’ve looked very confused because Lavi continued. “They claim to have the Noah gene that grants them superhuman powers. They are looking for the Heart of Innocence; if they destroy it, all Innocence will perish. They work for the Millennium Earl.”

“And they assume the Heart is with one of the Generals?” I asked the obvious. I hated to admit but as an Exorcist it was absolutely my duty to help them to find and protect Marian, regardless of my own selfish reasons. The utmost importance was on protecting the Innocence in the world, so it didn’t matter how much I didn’t want to spend one more minute with these two, I had to go with them. “Well, seems like we don’t have much time to waste.”

“You’re going to come with us?” Allen sounded surprised and I could feel my right eyebrow rise automatically. I also rolled my eyes, just to make sure he gets the message of my displeasure. 

“Aren’t we looking for the same person?” I tried to sound as mean as I could. The white haired boy was too nice, well, they were both too nice, and I never trusted people like that too much. It’s too easy to hide true evil behind a smile.

I didn’t feel the need to wait for their answer, I quickly went into my room to pack up. Weirdly, I knew exactly which one it was, even though there were two doors opening from the living room. I guess some stuff did get stuck in my unconscious about the past nine years after all. As I expected, there was not much in there, I threw everything into the one backpack I found. Just to be sure, I added a pillow and a blanket too; as an Exorcist, you could never know where the night would catch you. I also found some money, thank God, the creator of Serena had an awful taste in clothing, I desperately needed a redo. There were also no healing supplies, which was an even bigger problem since I was posing as a medical Exorcist. I swung the backpack on and went back to the living room; Allen and Lavi were ready to leave, the former was wearing his uniform too. 

“Let me grab a knife, then we can go,” I said quickly, but before I could reach the kitchen Allen stopped me. Although he was not older than (current) me, he was taller and stronger than me. There was also this strange aura around him that was both dangerous and fascinating. I got the feeling that he was no ordinary Exorcist despite his lack of experience.

“What do you need it for?” He asked, looking down on me. I didn’t like being shorter than him.

“I don’t trust you,” I said calmly. At first I thought he was going to be angry but he just laughed straight into my face. What a brat. Not that they have any reason to trust me. As of now, they didn’t even have proof that I was in fact an Exorcist. “Besides, I need it in case I have to use my blood.”

He thought about my reasoning for a few second but then he stepped out of my way. Finally, I was able to retrieve my knife, which I put in the side pocket of my backpack; easy to reach but not dangerous. I left the house without looking back, there was nothing binding me to this place. My only memories of it were made today and those weren’t even that special. It was hard to believe that I spent nine years there, never aging a second. Whoever made the illusion and the barrier had to be extremely powerful. I wondered if Allen and Lavi were the first Exorcists that came through there, and if not, why I was awakened by them. There were so many questions but I was sure that Marian had a great role in all of it, after all he always did. That bastard was everywhere, even when he wasn’t.

“I bet you miss the Order but unfortunately, we won’t be going back any time soon,” said Allen, cutting my peaceful thinking session short. He must be insane if he thinks I would ever want to go back to the Order.

“I’ve never heard better news,” I said with clear anger. To my surprise, they were confused by my feelings. I had to clarify. “I loathe that place.”

“What could they ever do to you?” Lavi’s was detractive which only made me angrier. These newbies knew nothing about the darkness that resides in the Order. 

“What do you think they might do to someone like me?” If I could kill with my eyes, they would be dead. I was always told that I had a great death stare, and Lavi truly deserved it in that moment.

“That might be how they do things in America but I am sure headquarters would never subject you to such things.” How cute of you Allen, being so utterly blind and naïve. The Order was always good at putting up a nice front. “How can you be an Exorcist if you hate the Dark Order that much?”

“We were chosen by God, not the Order. He is someone I cannot turn my back on, for he gave me my purpose. I might despise the Dark Order but it is my duty to destroy the Akuma and carry out God’s will. If that’s what he wants, that is what I will do.” My answer surprised them, imbeciles, but I understood. It took me a while to realize that God and the Order were completely separate entities and it was not God who put me through all the misery. One isn’t an Exorcist for love for the Order, it is our purpose on Earth. “Being an Exorcist is not the same as being a member of the Order.”

They didn’t answer, nor did they argue with me further, for which I was thankful. I didn’t expect them to understand, no one could, unless they went through the same thing as I did. Maybe things changed, maybe they were finally able to look at us and see the human not just the Accommodator. When I was there they never realized I was a person; I was just flesh that housed the healing Innocence. I had always been jealous of the equipment types; they were way less fascinating for the science department. It was clear that my time with these two Exorcists was not going to be easy, I could tell that their view of the world was very different than mine. Remembering back to my time at the Dark Order, all I feel is emptiness, pain, and deep darkness. Even the other Exorcists that I met were mean and cruel with no respect for humans, they all thought they were above them because they were graced by God. They never realized that God chose us to protect humans even if it costs us our lives, not exactly placing us above them. Lavi and Allen were different, they were warm and naïve, and completely unscratched by the cruelty of this world. I hadn’t known them for long, but that much I gathered. They were pure and I was broken, and for that I hated them.


	2. Cuts and stiches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serena's POV again. There is fighting, she gets a little closer to one of our beloved Exorcists, and you get to see how her healing really works. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 2: Cuts and stiches

I always hated small talk. It was strange to me how people felt such an intense need to discuss the weather, something they have no control over. I saw no purpose behind it, for it was just a way to break the silence. I liked silence though, it was peaceful and I got to listen to the sounds of nature, which were a lot more beautiful than the noise painful small talk made. Lavi and Allen were friends, so I knew that the awkwardness in their conversation was because of me. They did not want to discuss anything meaningful in front of me, so they resorted to debating about trivial things.

“If you have nothing important to discuss, then just stop making noise.” I butted into their conversation which made it even more rude. I never had a filter on my mouth.

“What a joy it is to be around you,” said Lavi, amused. “You were way nicer under that illusion.”

“Whoever put me under it clearly had a sick sense of humor,” I said and rolled my eyes, which made the two of them laugh even more. That illusionist bastard didn’t just change my clothing style (for the worse), they had to play with my personality too, of course. It made me nauseous when I thought of the girl who lived in my skin for nine years; I would most definitely hate her.

“You really have no idea who it might’ve been?” Asked Allen, changing the subject to a more serious issue. I pretended to think about his question, but in reality I needed to find a way to set my story straight. 

“All I know is that I came to Europe to meet with General Cross but I never got the chance,” I explained. Of course, the truth was that I was doing everything to avoid meeting him. That bastard was clever though, he found me and I had no other option but to try to get away with force. Clearly, that didn’t happen.

“Why did you need to meet him?” Asked Lavi curiously. If I got a shilling for every question they asked, by the end of this trip I would have enough money to bribe the Earl to just disappear.

“I wanted to meet him,” I corrected. “The Order didn’t let me leave the branch much because they needed my blood, but they let me go on missions once in a while. Mostly to high risk ones, where it was likely that the combat Exorcists would need medical attention. After we completed the mission, I decided to slip away and look for Cross.” It wasn’t all a lie; I did slip away after a mission but not to look for him. I was fleeing from the Order so I could live like a normal Exorcist not a blood bag. 

“You were hoping that he would do what for you? Protect you?” Allen was sarcastic and he was right to be so. Marian wasn’t exactly the protective type but he did know the difference between right and wrong.

“He can be very persuasive,” I shrugged, which made Lavi laugh again but Allen seemed rather uncomfortable. I had a feeling he had had the ‘pleasure’ to meet Marian before. That man was a piece of work for sure.

“He was my master…” he said quietly, which made me laugh for a change. I realized that was the first time I laughed ever since I woke up in that house. At least my sense of humor was back.

There was nothing I wanted to hear more than the torturous training techniques of Marian but suddenly a group of men appeared from the woods. They looked like lumberjacks, except that real lumberjacks would have no reason to surround us. These ones, on the other hand, seemed to have found one.

“They are all Akumas,” yelled Allen, and suddenly a strange lens looking thing appeared on his left eye. If that was his Innocence, we were in big trouble. Well, unless he could shoot with it, which was very unlikely. The demons didn’t waste their time, they quickly transformed into their real forms. It was bad news: they were mostly Level 2 and there was at least five of them. It wasn’t looking good. Before I could voice my concerns, however, Allen grabbed my arm and swung me behind him while Lavi was blocking me from the other side. Good news, they weren’t going to sacrifice me.

“We will get an opening for you, go hide,” Said Lavi looking back at me and I nodded agreeably. “Little hammer, big hammer, grow, grow, grow!”

The redhead swung his hammer powerfully which left a small opening for me to slip away. I ran into the woods, hoping that none of them would follow. It hurt my pride that I had to be protected from these miserable Akumas but I still obeyed. Unfortunately, I had to get used to the fact that Serena was not as powerful as I used to be, but I had no other choice. I hid behind a big old tree, close enough that I could see the fight but avoid being spotted. Similarly to me, Allen was also a parasite type Accommodator, but contrary to my belief the Innocence was not his eye, it was his left arm. To my greatest surprise, he could change the shape of his weapon quickly and smoothly to suit the situation. To be completely honest, I didn’t expect him to be that strong for his age, but at the same time, I did have a feeling from the first moment I met him that he was special. There was something about him that caught my attention, I could not shake the feeling that he was going to play a major role in how the war would unfold. Lavi’s strength was undeniable as well, he was quite skilled with his hammer. 

Despite their clear potency, dealing with that many higher level Akumas was not a small task, and such it did start to take a toll on them. They were getting more and more tired and the number of cuts and bruises on their bodies were increasing simultaneously. They were down to two Akumas, when suddenly both of them decided to team up against Lavi, who was not able to deter their attacks. His body flew backwards helplessly and was caught by a tree a few meters from me. I didn’t need to check, I immediately knew that his hammer wielding arm was broken and he was quickly losing consciousness due to the strength of the impact. I searched for Allen but he was out of reach, and the Akumas were already preparing their next attack. I only had a split second to decide but it was clear that I had no choice, I had to interfere. My only hope was that Allen would reach us fast enough to destroy the Akumas before they could kill us both. I took a big breath and ran to Lavi, putting my body between him and the demons. Luckily, he was still holding his hammer, so I grabbed his broken arm quickly to block the poisonous shots. His body writhed from the pain but he was alive, and that is what mattered at the moment. I was not fast enough though, one of the bullets scraped my thigh and I fell on my knees. Although my Innocence granted my immunity against the poison, it did paralyze me for a few seconds, rendering us completely vulnerable. I waited for the pain as I watched the black pentagons appear on my body, but it never came. When I looked up I only saw Allen’s body emerging from the smoke.

“Are you okay?” He kneeled next to me, panting so hard I was surprised he could even speak. He was an absolute mess, his clothes were ripped, dirty, and covered with blood, both human and demon. 

“We need to get out of here,” I said impatiently while ripping the bottom of my skirt off so I can tie it around my leg. “We have to carry him.”

The redhead was a lot heavier than I expected, there was no way we could carry him far. According to the map, the next village was a few hours away, which was way too far in our current condition. Lavi’s body became heavier and heavier every second and I knew Allen was near collapsing for the pain and the fatigue. I almost gave up when suddenly I noticed a small path going into the woods off of the main road. Praying that it would lead to some sort of shelter, I pulled Allen on to the small trail. After a few minutes the trees started thinning and a small house appeared in front of us. We busted through the door without knocking but it didn’t matter, it was completely empty. The house probably belonged to those lumberjacks that were turned into Akumas, serving as a place for rest during the workday. We put Lavi on the only bed, and as soon as his weight shifted off Allen’s shoulders, he collapsed on the floor.

“Allen!” I yelled, shaking his body to pull him back to consciousness. He reached out to stop my hands and I could finally see the culprit: there was a huge wound starting from his side going all the way to his back. It was a miracle he even made it all the way here with Lavi on his shoulder. Ignoring the pain in my leg, I shot up to grab my knife and with a quick move I sliced his coat and shirt open to get a better view on the gash.

“What…are you…doing?” His voice was tired, and he could barely keep his eyes open.

“What do you think, idiot? I am saving your life.” I was angry on the other hand, I hated when people interfered with my work, especially when I was helping them. Asking questions don’t heal wounds, I do.

After removing the clothes from the injury, I turned him to his side to make the area more approachable. Clenching my teeth hard, I slid the knife across my palm deep enough to get sufficient amount of blood flowing from it.

“This will sting,” I said as I pressed my hand on his wound and traced it carefully, making sure that my blood covered all of it. The boy screamed loudly from the pain but I held his shoulder tight, pinning him to the bedframe, in order to prevent the cut from opening again before it could heal. “Allen, you need to stop moving or it won’t work. It will be over soon.”

He didn’t answer but he stopped moving, so I was able loosen my grip on his shoulder. The cut needed a few minutes to close, which allowed me some time to look at Lavi’s injuries. Despite the fact that he lost consciousness on the scene, he was not in bad shape. His arm was broken and he definitely got a concussion, but besides that he was fine. I decided to take care of his broken limb once he wakes up since Allen needed more immediate attention. I kneeled back down to the white haired boy who was panting from the effort it took to endure the pain. The wound on his back closed properly but that was just the beginning of his injuries.

“You really suck at warning, it hurt like hell,” he said quietly which automatically made me smile. He was beaten up but his sense of humor was still intact. Closing the cut definitely had a positive effect on his state.

“You survived, didn’t you?” I asked as I reached for the buttons on his coat. He complied freely to removing his uniform, but his hands latched onto mine when I reached to unbutton his shirt. “Don’t tell me you’re going to be shy right now,” I said reproachfully and I saw a faint smile appear on his lips. He really had the strangest reactions considering the situation.

“You should help Lavi,” he said. I realized that he wasn’t being shy, he was putting his friend first. I snorted angrily, I hated when people told me what to do. Especially when it came to my area of expertise.

“You should shut up, he’s fine” I hissed at him but it just made him smile again. He was one strange boy but he reminded me of a saying that Tiedoll used to tell me: ‘Truly strong people are the ones who can smile when most would scream from the pain.’ I hated to admit, but at that moment I finally understood what he meant.

Allen eventually let go of my hands, so I was finally able to unbutton his shirt. I helped him free both of his arms from the sleeves, then reached behind his neck to pull him towards me, letting the shirt fall off his shoulders. I ran my fingers over his collarbone and then I proceeded to feel each rib to make sure nothing is broken. Goosebumps appeared on his pale skin as traced his bones and I could feel his eyes on me. Even though I wasn’t the one being touched, I suddenly felt violated. I couldn’t help but feel like those silver eyes were looking into my soul. 

“I need some water,” I said quickly and pulled my backpack closer. My flask still had some water in it, enough to clean the gash on Allen’s head and let him get hydrated a little. I ripped another piece off of my skirt and wetted it. His hair was stuck in the wound, so I had to be extra careful removing it. I didn’t even realize how close I was to him until I felt his warm breath on my skin and now it was my turn to become riddled with goose bumps. I had treated a thousand warriors before but none of them had this effect on me. Did I lose too much blood? I looked at my leg quickly and although the cloth was bloody, it did not explain my reaction. It is probably the fatigue.

“Are you okay?” Asked Allen, clearly noticing my startled look. “How bad is your leg?”

“It’s nothing, the bullet just scratched it. It’ll heal fast.” He didn’t argue with me but his eyes were still analyzing me. I pressed the wet cloth a little too hard to his forehead to deter his attention, he winced from the pain. A stray water drop ran down on his face to his lips and I couldn’t help myself from gently tracing its path with the cloth. Dammit, what got into me? I quickly pulled my hand back but he caught it and took the wet cloth out of it. He softly opened up my hand to examine my palm.

“You really are impressive,” he whispered as he tracked the cut that was almost completely healed. Yes, I was a fascinating lab-rat for sure. Everyone who ever sees my healing ability immediately ceases to see me as a person, I just become a tool. I ripped my hand out of his grip angrily not caring about his confused look. Of course he was nice to me when I proved so useful to him. I let myself lose focus once, but I swore that I wouldn’t be tricked by his niceness. I couldn’t let myself fall for it again. What was I even thinking before? Did I not learn from my past mistakes? I jumped to my feet a little too fast, the world became dark for a couple seconds, and I helplessly fell back onto my knees. I could feel Allen holding me up, so I once again pushed his hands aside.

“I am fine.” My voice was sharp, he pulled his hands back meekly. It seemed like my injury was going to give me a lot more trouble than I expected, but I didn’t have time to deal with it. I stood up again (slower this time) and started to search the little cabin for things that could be useful. Luckily, I found a rather big first aid kit under the sink and a gas lamp in the cabinet. The sun was already setting, so I needed the extra light desperately. I kneeled back in front of Allen again, ignoring his glare. I took out a piece of gauze and tape before I returned to take care of his head injury. Swiftly, I brushed his hair out of his face and placed the gauze with the tape over the cut. The first aid kit had plenty of roll bandages, so I decided it was best to wrap his body since he had multiple quite significant bruises. Doing so, however, forced me to reach around him multiple times, placing me dangerously close to him yet again. I didn’t know why but his closeness bothered me immensely. I let out a relieved sigh when I was done. The only part left to be examined was his Innocence.

“What are you doing?” He asked indignantly when I touched his left arm.

“I need to examine your Innocence.” I could tell that he didn’t like other people looking at his arm, let alone touching it. Maybe it was because of my medical training, but I found his arm more fascinating than repugnant. The skin was rather harsh as I moved my hand along it but it was not a lot different than human skin. His muscles were twitching, however. “Your arm is exhausted. It is no good in this condition.”

“I don’t chose when the Akuma attack.” His voice was sharp but I just rolled my eyes.

“You don’t say.” I said insolently. “I wouldn’t stretch an Innocent too far that hasn’t even reached its final form.”

“What do you mean?” Of course, he seemed interested now. 

“The particles of your arm are not as dense as other parasitic Innocence I’ve encountered. It is my guess that your arm will evolve as you become stronger. Therefore, I would take it easy if I were you.” He really seemed surprised by my words, I guess the Black Order forgot to mention this to him. I took my flask in my hand again and put it in his hand. “You need to drink; I will make the beds.”

I could feel his eyes on me as I searched the little cabin one more time. I was able to gather a big blanket that I laid down so we wouldn’t have to sleep on the hardwood. We both had a small pillow and a blanket each, so it really wasn’t such a bad arrangement. I helped him to his spot, then I laid down next to him. For a few seconds we both just stared at the ceiling, but then he broke the silence.

“Thank you, Serena. You saved our lives.” He really sounded thankful which phased me. I always thought taking care of the wounded was a requirement not a favor. I had only gotten scolded for my medical shortcomings before, and never thanked or praised for my successes. So even though he sounded honest, I couldn’t believe him.

“It is my job,” I said finally and turned my back to him. It was a mistake: the pain was so sharp in my thigh that I let out a painful moan. Allen didn’t hesitate, he sat up immediately and grabbed my shoulder to turn my body back towards him.

“It is your leg, isn’t it?” He asked but I didn’t answer, so he reached for my leg forcefully and pulled my skirt up. I tried to pull away but he was holding it tight.

“This is so inappropriate!” I yelled at him angrily but he just laughed. How dare he?! This is outrageous. His hands were holding me tight, I could not escape his grip. I had no choice but to surrender my leg to him. Bastard.

“What kind of healer doesn’t take care of herself?” He scolded me. He scolded me. “The Akuma’s poison is still in there, you won’t heal like this.” Allen reached for the flask and his ragged shirt, then turned back towards me. Imitating my previous moves, he ripped a small piece off of it and wetted it. 

“Ouch.” I said painfully. “Taste of my own medicine, huh?” I asked sarcastically and he laughed again. I had to admit it was quite a comical situation. Watching him clean my wound I realized that no one has ever taken care of my injuries, I always had to solve it on my own. I suddenly felt warmth spreading in my chest but I pushed the feeling away. Him taking care of that wound didn’t mean I was any less on my own.

“Done. It isn’t even bleeding anymore,” he said victoriously with a satisfied smile on his face. “You’re welcome.”

“You’re annoying,” I sighed but I let a small smile appear on my lips. He laughed as he laid back on his pillow. I closed my eyes and pulled the blanket up to my chin. As I fell asleep, I could still feel Allen’s touch on my thigh even though his hand was long gone. I hated the fact that I didn’t mind it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Strange town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavi, Allen and Serena reach a very strange town where there might be a new Innocence. No warnings. Hope you enjoy it! :)

Chapter 3: Strange town

When I woke up, Allen and Lavi were still sleeping quietly. Looking at their faces, I realized how young they really were, it was that dim, painful light in their eyes that made them look older. I realized how easy it would be to just leave, run away, and start anew. At the same time, I was an Exorcist and it was my duty to fight against the Millennium Earl, I couldn’t just leave now. Not yet. I knew that with these two around me I would somehow end up in the middle of it; they were trouble makers, and so was I. Even though I hated the thought of it, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.   
I was pulled back from musing by the loud rumbling of my stomach, and I realized that I hadn’t eaten in a long time. Luckily, we were in a forest which meant that there were plenty of animals to hunt. I slipped out of the cabin quietly and made my way into the forest. It didn’t take long to find a small creek and I immediately spotted a deer drinking from it. I snuck closer to get a better view at it and to decide what course of action to take. Since I was on the other side of the water, I couldn’t simply just attack it with my hands and I didn’t exactly trust my knife throwing skills. There was no doubt in my mind that I had to use the true power of my Innocence but I was afraid. After all, I hadn’t used it in nine years and I wasn’t exactly able to completely control it even before. My stomach rumbled again and I let out a small sigh.

“I am sorry, your sacrifice is appreciated,” I whispered and reached my arm out towards the animal. As I clenched my fist, a ray of light appeared and slit the animal’s throat. I wanted to go to my prey, but suddenly my body felt like it was a thousand tons heavy and I couldn’t move. The use of my Innocence was too much for me, I felt as weak as I did when I first discovered my power as a child. It wasn’t surprising, I hadn’t trained in almost a decade and it took a lot of strength to control an Innocence in raw form. I needed a few minutes to collect myself and finally be able to approach my future lunch. The animal was a lot bigger than I thought it would be from far away, it was quite hard to lift over my shoulder and hold it there. Thank God that I wasn’t far from the cabin, although I was sweating profusely by the time I finally made it back.

“I thought you left,” said Allen as he noticed me approaching from the woods.

“I thought about it.” The honestly in my answer clearly surprised him because that very annoying little smile that he always had disappeared from his face. I put the deer down, then pulled out my knife so I can make it into edible form. Since I had never had to prepare my lunch from the wild, I couldn’t really decide where to start.

“Did you catch this?” He asked, surprised, and kneeled down next to me. It was probably very unbelievable that I could hunt when I was struggling so hard to skin this damn animal. He just laughed and took the knife away from me. “I’ll do it.”

“Fine.” I surrendered angrily, then stood up. “I’m going to check on Lavi.”

The redhead was sitting on the bed, staring out of the window, watching Allen make our lunch. He didn’t look at me when I entered the room, which made me wonder if his hearing was intact; it wasn’t rare to lose some hearing after such a big hit on the head. I slowly approached him and sat down on the bed, but he still didn’t look at me. His eyes were fixated on his white-haired comrade. 

“There is a prophecy,” he said suddenly. “He is supposed to be ‘the Destroyer of Time’.” At that moment I understood that there was so much more than just friendship that connected these two. Lavi truly believed in the other one, he trusted that he might be the one who brings change to this world. Prophecies were rare and always so vague, yet they still carried so much meaning. It meant that Allen was worth saving.

“Is that why you follow him?” I needed to take care of his arm and I learned from experience that it was always easier to treat patients when I kept them distracted. Lavi seemed distracted enough by his thoughts that he wouldn’t interfere.

“My master seems to believe it. But that’s not the only reason why I’m here,” he explained. I took his arm out of his shirt, which had to be painful, even though he showed no sign of it. His mind was somewhere else. “I used to think only pure good can conquer pure evil. Now, I see it different: if you cannot see in the dark, you have no chance defeating it.”

“I don’t see darkness inside him.” A pair of warm, silver eyes appeared in my head that had never showed a flicker of evil. Allen did have a strange aura but it wasn’t evil. In the absence of my knife, I had to bit my wrist to be able to take care of his broken arm. The redhead never took his eyes of Allen, however, not even when I dripped my blood on his injury.

“He would never let anyone see that, but it is there. His light is bright and inextinguishable, yet there is darkness lurking deep, deep down in his soul.” It surprised me, how wise he was. His cheerful attitude was a cover, he was observing every little thing around him. He hid his genius behind a mask of averageness, but he was no ordinary man.

“You seem to notice a lot,” I noted as I wiped my blood of his newly healed arm. Although he wasn’t facing me, I could see a little smile hiding in the corner of his mouth.

“It is my job, I am Bookman Junior after all.” Crap. It all made sense now, a Bookman would follow the boy from a prophecy. Similarly, they would know the history of the Black Order which gave him all the tools to bust my cover. Was he just playing me or has it been too long to connect the dots? I was praying for the latter.

“Your arms should be good now,” I said while I wrapped it tightly with a bandage. “How is your head? You have a concussion.”

“I will live,” he responded quietly. There was no way he was fine, by now he was most definitely experiencing a pretty intense headache and nausea. Allen was almost done skinning the deer, but there was no fire yet. Since Lavi definitely needed more rest and water, I decided that I would go gather the fire wood and fill up our flasks with water as well.

When I left the cabin again, Allen didn’t ask me where I was going; he trusted that I would return. Luckily, it hadn’t rained in a while, so gathering firewood was rather easy. The small creek wasn’t enough to bath in but it was clear enough to drink from it. After I replenished our water bottles, I splashed some on my face too and let the drops slide down my neck. It had been quite an eventful three days since these two came into my life, and I was certain that it was only the start. By the time I got back, Allen had already cut up the meat and created a small circle with rocks for the fire. I threw the wood sticks in there and handed him his flask.

“How’s Lavi?” He asked and he was trying to light the fire. I wondered where he learned all the ways of nomad living, although I was suspecting the answer. 

“He has a concussion; he needs a little more rest. Even if he says he doesn’t,” I said which made him laugh. I didn’t see the joke in that sentence, so I decided to go back to Lavi and give him his water too. He was laying down now, holding one hand to his forehead, and he seemed rather pale.

“Drink some water, it’ll help with the nausea.” I helped him sit up and touched the bottle to his lips. He must’ve been extremely thirsty, he didn’t stop my hand until he cleared half of the bottle. “We need to reach the town by nightfall. I’ll bring you some meet, you should rest now.”

“Serena,” he called after me before I opened the door. I still wasn’t used to my new name, so it took me a few seconds to realize that he was talking to me. “You can trust us, you know that, right?”

I wanted to say yes, because I wanted to trust them, to trust someone, but I couldn’t. Betrayal has its way to one’s heart, it breaks it on the first impact and continues to pulverize its pieces until there is nothing left. There was no place in my heart for trust anymore, there hadn’t been in a long time. I rested my hand on the doorknob for a couple seconds, then I left without saying a word. After the fight, I had no doubt that they would protect me, so my life, I would put in their hands. But for my secrets, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t feel attached to them because they relied on me, I couldn’t let myself wonder what will happen in the future. I knew, one day, they would realize the truth about me. I couldn’t hide in Serena’s skin for long, the time when I would have to join the fight as my true self was nearing. Being Serena gave me the element of surprise, which was one of the most valuable things in war. 

The deer was almost fully cooked, it only needed a few more minutes. I sat across from Allen who was watching the flame’s dance in the fire pit. I heard Lavi’s voice in my head as I was examining his face. It was hard to believe that this boy, with such an innocent and pure look, would lead us to victory. It was only that cut on his face that signaled that he had encountered evil before.

“I was cursed by Mana, my foster father,” he said when he noticed that I was looking at him. “I turned him into an Akuma.”

“How are you alive?” I had never heard of anyone who survived that. Maybe, after figuring out what they had really done, no one wanted to live anymore. There is no bigger sin against your loved one than turning them into a demon.

“My Innocence took over and killed him, but he left me with this,” he pointed to his left eye. “I can see Akumas and the souls trapped inside.”

“They are in pain, aren’t they?” I asked quietly, which surprised him.

“They are crying because they are forced to hurt the one they love, and many more. Do you see them too?” There was a light of hope in his eyes, for no one could possibly understand what he was experiencing. Every time he looked at an Akuma, he had to witness that pain; it was a burden that no one was supposed to carry. At that moment, I was finally able to see the tip of the darkness inside him.

“I don’t, but because of my Innocence I am drawn to their pain, I know they are suffering. When I was at the Order no one believed me, they said I was weak for feeling that way.” Feeling sorry for a demon was not something they allowed, and after a while I stopped saying it too. I pushed this dark knowledge to the farthest end of my consciousness, for I thought it was wrong. Allen was loyal to the Order, he was one of them, yet he was so different from the Order I grew up in. 

“I am sorry for what they did to you, if that made you hate being an Exorcist,” said Allen quietly but I shook my head. 

“I never hated being one, because at the end of the day, after all they’ve done to me, that is all I had left. That was the only thing they could never take from me.” I knew he understood me, there was nothing he loved more than being an Exorcist, I could tell. But he was so extremely naïve that it would’ve been stupid not to use it for my benefit. “I need to ask you a favor, Allen. When we get to the next town, and you call your supervisor, I need you to keep my existence in secret from the Order.”

“Why?” He asked, confused. No matter how many terrible truths I had told him about his beloved Order, his faith in them was unscratched.

“They will want me to go back, and if so, I will have to fight them. Don’t be the one who forces my hand.” I was determined, I knew he felt it. Even though he probably didn’t believe that I could hurt anyone due to my passive Innocence, all I needed to do was to awaken his empathy.

“I won’t, until we find Master. You will be safe with him.” That warm, kind smile appeared on his lips again, and suddenly I felt remorse. I played him, using his sympathy for me to get what I wanted. I didn’t just lie, I also manipulated him, which made me no different than the people I hated so much at the Order. They would be so proud of me, knowing that their cruel, distorted legacy lived on.

The deer was gone very fast, as I expected, since both Allen and I needed extreme amounts of food to satisfy the hunger caused by our parasite type Innocence. Lavi, on the other hand, took his time to finish his small portion, but it gave us time to pack up. I burned all of the clothes that were ruined during the battle, and we each changed into civilian attire. Without the two boys in their uniforms, we looked like a bunch of kids, but it was a great way to blend in until we reached the next town. The thought of an actual bed and a warm bath excited me, even I was surprised by my own desire to enjoy such luxury. Maybe it was Serena surfacing, who had been enjoying these amenities in my body for the past nine years.

“What the hell…” Allen’s voice was weak as he took in the first view of the village. It was the most rundown, impoverished village I had ever seen. The people were wearing filthy rags, they were dirty and sick. Instead of houses, there were only hand-built shacks, and the smell of urine and feces covered everything. Considering the natural resources around the village, it made no sense why its people had to endure such circumstances. There were forests, mines, plenty of water, and the soil was fertile; it was everything but unlivable. 

“Excuse me, sir? What happened to your village?” The old man Lavi stopped was carrying a heavy bucket of water, which he almost dropped when he saw our small group. His clothes hadn’t been washed in a long time, his skin was dark and scarred from being on the sun too much, and I could feel his body breaking down. He was pitiful.

“Our prosperity is thanks to our Lord, whom we serve and love with all of our hearts,” he said with a trembling voice and tried to pass by us. Despite what I expected, his words lacked even a hint of sarcasm, like he truly believed that this was prosperous.

“Why does your Lord make you live under these circumstances?” Demanded Allen, which made the old man even more scared and confused. 

“Our prosperity is thanks to our Lord, whom we serve and love with all of our hearts,” he said again, and this time Lavi let him go on his way. Something was very wrong in this town, and I had a feeling that I had to say goodbye to the comfortable bed and hot bath. How typical…

“Something is not right; it is like he was under some sort of mind control,” said Lavi pensively. Could it be an illusion like mine was? Possible, but the old man was repeating the same thing, whereas I became a completely new person. This was something more simple and brute.

“Let’s ask around and see what this Lord is doing to its people.” Allen’s voice was sharp, like he already decided that the Lord was the culprit. Although it was very likely, without proof of an Innocence being involved, we could not get involved.

“Our mission is to look for Cross,” I reminded them but he whisked me off. I should’ve known that these two were suckers for charity cases like this.

“Let’s split up to cover more ground. We will meet here in two hours, sharp.” Lavi seemed to think it was a good idea to go out on our own and I didn’t feel like arguing with him. The place gave me the chills, so I decided to go to the outskirts of the village rather than the center.

Following the tall walls that surrounded the town, I soon reached the West Gate. Past the entrance, the houses were less dense, it was clear that it was the farming area. Similar to the center, however, the people seemed tired and sick. When I asked around, even for basic things such as overnight accommodation, the answer was always the same. I was starting to be certain that the entire village was indeed brainwashed. If so, there had to be an Innocence around with an extremely nasty accommodator. 

“Excuse me, Miss,” I heard a faint sound behind me as I was starting to head back to our meeting point. I turned around, and behind me stood a little girl, couldn’t be older than 10 years.

“Yes?” I asked impatiently, I didn’t have time to converse with children, that’s for sure. “What do you want?”

“I…I…heard you were… asking about the Lord.” I could tell that the little girl was scared of me but it sounded like she might not be as useless as I had first thought. She was the only one so far who wasn’t repeating that nonsense. 

“Is he doing this to the village?” I asked, kneeling in front of the girl. The little girl nodded, and I could see tears accumulating in her faint, brown eyes.

“He comes to us and tells mommy and daddy to give him everything. He forces them! Everyone does what he says. Some people talk back to him but then these ugly creatures come and turn them into sand.” The little girl was shaking but I could see the determination in her eyes. “I always hide when he come, so he wouldn’t make me do things.”

“I understand,” I said and I tried to send an encouraging smile towards her. Children were not my strength, neither was emotional support. “I need to you to go home now and hide again. I am an Exorcist, and I promise I will take care of this. I will come for you when it is over.” 

The little girl stared at my face for a little bit, like she was trying to decide whether I was telling the truth. For a change, it wasn’t a lie but she couldn’t know that. After all, I looked like an average girl from another town. The little girl eventually nodded and ran back down on the street. I let out a deep sigh, somehow trouble found us again. When I reached our meeting point Lavi and Allen were already there, and judging from their expression they didn’t find anything positive either.

“It has to be an Innocence,” said Lavi when I finally reached them. “The whole town is brainwashed, everyone just kept repeating the same thing.” 

“That’s not the worst part,” I added. “I met this little girl, she said that the Lord comes to see them and tells the parents to surrender everything. When his charm doesn’t work on people, she said he uses creatures that turn people into sand. Sound familiar?”

“He commands Akuma?” Asked Allen a little louder than he was supposed to, but the town people were too out of it to notice. “Then he must be a Noah.”

“I am not so sure about that,” answered Lavi, shaking his head. “Obviously, that is the most logical explanation, except that a Noah would have no interest in a town like this. Of course, nothing is impossible.”

“We should see this Lord tomorrow, take a good look at him.” A big yawn escaped from the white-haired Exorcist at the end of his sentence, which made me realize that we had no place to sleep. The sun had already gone down and slowly, all people disappeared from the streets.

“Let’s just hope this town has an inn,” said Lavi frowning. 

After an hour of searching, we finally found a small inn that was in no better condition than the other buildings in the village. The innkeeper was just as disoriented as others, so we just took the only room key that was hanging behind the counter. There was no point trying to leave money for the man, we knew it would just go back to the Lord. The room was small, but it did have a couch and two beds which was more than what we had hoped. There was even water in the bathroom, and although it was not the cleanest, I couldn’t care anymore. At that point, I couldn’t even care that there were no towels, nor that the door wasn’t attached to its frame. I had to ask Lavi to lift the door in its place so I could take a bath. I put the new clothes on without drying myself and let Allen into the room. 

“There is no hot water, as expected. It is not very clean either, so I need to look at your wounds,” I said but he didn’t move. “Today.” 

He sighed and finally started to take his shirt off. Looking at his face and how much he avoided looking at me while unbuttoning his shirt made me realize the situation we were in. He was a man, undressing in front of me. As a medical professional I was used to people undressing in front of me, the human anatomy never bothered me too much, I just viewed it as a scientific object. The realization that he didn’t, opened my mind up to a completely new situation, something I was not familiar with. I inhaled sharply as I watched his shirt fall to the ground. I tried to recall the Latin names of all muscles groups as I stepped closer, averting my attention from the reality in front of me. I was enraged with him that he made this situation into something it wasn’t supposed to be. I did not want these thoughts in my head.

“You better not have opened that cut on your back,” I said to him sharply as I unwrapped him from the bandages. Luckily, the wound was closed and the skin around it was normal. My blood did its job well, only a thin pink line indicated that once there was an injury there. As I slid my finger across the healed cut, goosebumps appeared on his skin again. “Are you cold?”

“I’m just not used to people touching me; you do that a lot,” he said with an embarrassed smile. Oh, excuse me that I didn’t let him die. What a brat.

“Try to not get beaten up that much then, weakling,” I hissed at him, which made that annoying smile disappear from his face. He really needed to learn his place. 

“How do you go from caring to bitch that fast?” He countered, which made my blood boil even more. Oh, he didn’t just say that. I was surprised he had it in him, really. He seemed like such a pushover.

“Doing my job isn’t caring,” I said angrily and reached for the bandage on his head and ripped it off a little too fast. He didn’t move or flinch; he just let me do my job. He was taller than me, so I had to reach behind his neck to pull him down, bringing him closer to me than I would’ve preferred. As I slid my hand up on his face to hold it in place while I examined the injury, I felt his hand grab my waist. My body stiffened to his touch, it wasn’t a gentle one, I realized he lost his balance as I pulled his head forward. I sighed annoyed and brushed his hair out of his face. That cut was healing nicely as well, so I decided to let it breath.

“Don’t put your head underwater,” I said finally and pushed him away. Before he could’ve said anything, I had already left the room, waving to Lavi to put the door back in the frame. I threw myself on the couch and I heard Lavi chuckle next to me.

“You remind me of someone,” he said still giggling. “He gets just as annoyed by Allen.”

“Really? Seemed to me being an idiot makes you pretty popular at the Order,” I answered sharply but he remained in his amused state.

“Idiots can grow on you,” he said with a mysterious smile on his face. 

I really, honestly disagreed with that statement.


	4. Not all Exorcists are good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: some cursing and mild sexual suggestion. I am currently working on chapter 6 which is going to be way sexier, so stay tuned!

Chapter 4: Not all Exorcists are good

I was standing in the dark, there was nothing around me. I was surrounded by complete emptiness; I couldn’t feel a soul or an object around me. Drip. Water? No, can’t be. I’d been here before. My footsteps made no sound, no echo, as I stepped forward. I was cold, so cold. Drop. Why do I hear water? Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I didn’t flinch, I knew that hand. I reached back to touch it, it was wet. Drip. It was blood. Blood drops. I screamed in horror. 

My lungs were on fire and I felt like I swallowed something hot. I was sitting on the couch, my hands gripping the cushion so firm my fingertips turned white. The realization hit me hard as I noticed that I was being stared at: I screamed. Very loudly.

“Is everything alright?” Asked Lavi as he slowly approached me. I didn’t answer and he proceeded to sit on the couch next to me. “Bad dream?”

“It’s fine. I was wondering when my nightmares would return,” I said angrily. “What are you doing on my couch?”

“You have recurring nightmares?” The redhead asked, ignoring my displeasure with his closeness. Nosey Bookman wants to know everything, always. 

“I’m no prophet,” I briefly answered and threw myself back down on the couch.

“Your dreams could be telling you something but you’re too stubborn to listen,” I heard Allen’s voice from across the room and it made me shoot back up again.

“All my dreams are telling me is that you are annoying” I hissed but then I let out a weak sigh. He was annoying because he was right. My dreams could be telling me something, but I had never been able to make sense of them and that was what really frustrated me. “They are always dark and cold. There is a person… I don’t see his face but I know who he is. He dies every time.”

“Maybe someone from your old branch?” Asked Lavi curiously but I shook my head.

“No. This man means something to me, so I know he’s not real.” My voice was as indifferent as I was towards my dreams. Allen and Lavi really wanted to see a meaning behind them, but for me they were just warnings. Warnings that caring about another person will only end in blood. I knew that very well, that is why I didn’t understand why I had to relive these dreams so often. Why haunt me with something I already know? I laid back down and we all went back to sleep in silence.

* * *

When I woke up, I was in an unusually bad mood. Not because of last night, no, that didn’t mean anything. I couldn’t shake this bad feeling that I got as soon as we entered this damn village. It was so deep that I could feel it in my bones; something bad is hiding among these walls. As we packed up or stuff in silence, I could tell that I wasn’t the only one being uneasy, they both seemed overly twitchy. With my back pack on, I waited for them to get ready. Lavi was taking the longest, since he was too lazy to take a bath last night, so he was still looking for his boots.

“Are we going to just barge in?” I broke the silence suddenly which made both of them wince.

“Of course not,” Lavi replied with a big smile and I let out a relieved sigh. Too soon. “We will knock first.”

“Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people,” I snapped at him which made both of them laugh; that was not my intention. “If this person really has mind-control powers, we cannot just walk in there.”

“Don’t worry, Serena,” he said still smiling, even though it was a tenser smile than usual. “If he really is an Accommodator, his powers won’t affect us. All we have to worry about is the Akumas that he might have under his control.”

“Have you thought about what you were going to do if he’s a parasite type?” I asked and for a few moments silence fell onto the room. I didn’t know them very well, but I had a feeling they would have a problem neutralizing an Accommodator even if he was evil. 

“Let’s worry about that when the time comes,” said Allen finally and exited the room. Lave let out a deep sigh but then Lavi waved to me, and we both followed the white-haired Exorcist to the busy street.

The Lord lived in a huge mansion in the center of the village, and contrary to the other buildings under his rule, this one was in an impeccable condition. From afar we could already see the Akumas guarding the place, a very unnatural sight with all the people running around them. Allen’s left eye immediately became activated, which was a big problem that we should’ve foreseen. I let out a deep sigh and opened my backpack to dig out a scarf that he could tie over his eye.

“This is a lot of eye-covering for one group,” said Allen jokingly as he fastened the knot behind his head. “Shall we say we are pirates?”

“We are too far inland for that, beanprout,” laughed Lavi until Allen punched him in the arm. I had to admit, beansprout was a pretty fitting name for him, it even made me smile. “Ay, ay, let’s just go.”

My blood was boiling and my whole body began to tremble as we passed the Akumas, even though they showed no sign of interest. My Innocence, however, was very interested in destroying them, and mine wasn’t the only one; Allen had to grab onto his left arm hard to make it stop twitching. The guards asked us why we were there, but made no fuss about it when we said we wanted to see the Lord. We were led into a huge throne room with a pedestal, on which a large but surprisingly young man sat. The amount of cologne and jewelry he was wearing made me want to barf, his eyes narrowed as he looked at our small group.

“And who are you?” He asked blandly, his voice was surprisingly high for his stature.

“We are travelers, Lord Skarjevec,” said Lavi and politely bowed down, Allen followed. As much as I hated it, I forced myself to curtsy as well. The Lord seem to like our gesture; his lips grew into a big smile. “We came to pay our respect to the Lord of this land.”

“Oh, I see. Isn’t she too pretty for a gypsy girl?” It was a rhetorical question and I knew it meant nothing good. “Come here, darling.” 

Hell no, I was not about to go any closer to this pig, however, Lavi didn’t agree with that. His face was serious as he looked back at me and I immediately understood: if I don’t obey, we will be busted, since he could be using his Innocence right now. I tried to make the disgust disappear from my face as I stepped closer to the man. When I was within his reach, he grabbed my arm and yanked it so hard that I fell onto his lap, just as he wanted it. I tried to jump up but his hands locked tight on my shoulder. He giggled as his fat fingers ran through my hair and traced the arc of my face. I suddenly felt extremely nauseous, angry, and helpless. For the mission, it was a good thing that he took a liking in me, although I really wished he would like boys instead. Being close to him meant that I might be able to figure out what his Innocence was, hopefully before he gets any bad ideas about what to do with me.

“My Lord, please, don’t frighten our sister,” said Lavi calmly. Frighten? More like absolute fury. If I could kill with my eyes, he would surely be dead by now. 

“Don’t worry, young man, I would never hurt such a precious thing,” he said then waved at his servants to come closer. “Make her the way I like it; we are having lunch. Are you hungry boys?”

I couldn’t hear what Lavi and Allen said, the servants quickly dragged me out of the room. They led me through a long hallway to reach a door at the end. I had a thousand morbid ideas about what might be behind the door, but what I saw I knew would never leave my memory. There were at least ten girls in there, some older, but mostly all younger than me. They seemed dazed, none of them looked up as we entered the room. I ripped my arm out of the two servants’ grip and I ran to the girl closest to me.

“Can you hear me?” I yelled in her face as I shook her small body aggressively. She didn’t budge. “Come on, wake up!”

“Miss, the Lord Skarjevec will be very angry if you don’t obey,” said one of the servants and I felt her hands pulling me back from the girl.

“Is anyone fucking awake in here?” I yelled again. “Sick bastard.” I almost gave up, but then suddenly I heard a faint voice coming from the corner.

“Who are you?” Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear it. She probably didn’t trust me. Fortunately, the servants didn’t care that the girl spoke, all they were concerned with was getting me undressed.

“That’s not important, I am here to help. Can you tell me what’s going on here?” I asked impatiently. I could care less about what the servants were doing to me, the more information I got out of this girl, the faster I could put an end to this. There were a couple moments of silence before the girl spoke again.

“He can control most people and those demons. Some people like me can resist him, I don’t know why, but he can force us to be obedient with those creatures anyways.” She slowly approached me as she spoke and stopped in front of me. She was slightly taller than me, her hair was straight and dark brown, her eyes hazel; she was beautiful. “The Lord will be nice to you first, he will make you feel like a queen. He won’t touch you until the third night, but then…”

“It’s okay,” I said gently, placing my hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I don’t plan on staying that long. Can you tell me how he controls people?” I prayed that she would know but she shook her head. “We will figure it out.”

“We?” She asked suddenly with horror in her eyes. 

“Yes, I have two people with me,” I said and she grabbed my hand. She really was frightened.

“If they don’t leave you here, he will kill them. That’s what he did to my family.” She was crying now, her tears were rolling down her beautiful face profusely. I squeezed her hand encouragingly as she wiped the tears off of her face.

“Don’t worry about us, I promise we will take care of everything, okay?” I never liked to promise things because those tended to get broken too often, even when one tried their hardest. There was no way I was going to let this pig win, so I didn’t mind getting the girl’s hopes up; I would never let this promise to be broken. 

I let out a painful sigh when I looked at myself in the mirror and my nausea suddenly returned. I was wearing a blue corset without even a blouse under it, paired with an ivory skirt that only went down to the middle of my thigh. The corset was extremely uncomfortable and it made me itch under my boobs that were pushed up so hard I was surprised there was even an under part to them. The high heels on my feet were already hurting, the blue thigh high socks didn’t make it more comfortable. My wavy hair was pinned to one side and they even put makeup on me once I stopped talking to the girl.

“You look beautiful, Miss,” said the girl with a smile but I just snorted. I felt hideous and ridiculous, beautiful was a very far from how I looked. No, let’s just say it, I looked like a whore. Goddamn Lavi and Allen, it was all their fault, they just attracted trouble like a magnet. Although it wasn’t like my luck was any different. 

Once the servants deemed that I was ‘to the Lord’s liking’, they dragged me to a different room. It was also huge but instead of a throne, there was a long table in the middle. The Lord was already sitting at one end, Lavi and Allen were on the other side. I could feel my face burn with embarrassment as I was led into the room and I tried very hard to ignore the two Exorcist’s shocked but gloating faces. Fucking great, at least they enjoyed this.

“See, way better,” said the Lord and I could not ignore the lustful smile on his face. I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but of course I was wrong, the Lord grabbed my ass so hard I let out a surprised squeak.

“Lord,” heard Allen’s voice from the other side of the table; he was angry. Good to know they were not big enough scums to let me get raped by this pig in front of their eyes. 

“Come on, boy, she is not as innocent as you think,” he said, laughing arrogantly. I just realized how much self-control it was taking for me to not slice his throat, my nails were digging into my palm painfully I was clenching my fist so hard. “Alright, sit down, girl. Let’s eat.”

As always, I was very hungry but I didn’t want to give him the pleasure that I would eat his food. He didn’t seem to care, he was stuffing his face as fast as he could, although he was not eating nearly enough for a parasite type. I looked at Lavi, who just nodded signaling that he saw it too. We were still nowhere close to finding out his Innocence and time (and my patience) was running out: he was not going to be hospitable for long. 

“Excuse me, my Lord, I couldn’t help but notice how much your people love and obey you,” spoke Lavi, finally breaking the silence. The Lord glared at him for a few seconds but then he just laughed again.

“Sit on my lap, girl,” he said turning to me and I slowly rose from my seat. I wanted to scream again when I felt his fat hand on my back and his body pressing to my side. “What can I say, I am quite charming.”

“What about those monsters outside?” Asked Allen a little too curiously because the Lord’s smile disappeared.

“They are here to protect me of course,” he replied, while twisting one of the rings on his finger nervously. Touchy subject, it seemed.

“I am sorry my Lord, he didn’t mean to be rude. My brother can be quite brute sometimes,” I said quickly, forcing a smile on my face. In the corner of my eye, I could see Allen glaring at me angrily. It wasn’t my fault that he couldn’t act even slightly polite. 

“Oh, the young, untamed ones,” the Lord laughed again. “Let us have some fun, shall we? Follow me.”

The Lord led us out of the dining room and through long corridors we finally arrived to his backyard. In the middle, there was a small clearing with a fence around it. On the far side, across from us, there was another throne with numerous high chairs next to it. First, I was confused about the purpose of it, but it soon became very clear when two men in ragged clothes were pushed in there. It was a fighting ring. We followed the Lord all the way to the seating area, where he made us sit on his side. As a punishment, I supposed, he placed Allen on his left side, while Lavi and I were on his right. The redhead tried to squeeze my hand as encouragement but I pushed him away, I had no need for his pity. When the Lord gave the sign, the two men started fighting and it was clear that the loser would pay with his life. Lavi winced next to me as the winner smashed the other man’s head with a rock then rose victoriously.

“Isn’t it fun?” The Lord turned to me and I wasn’t sure how to act. He was a cruel man, just because if I acted terrified, it didn’t mean he would stop. Acting uninterested could also just worsen his imagination, not deter him from continuing. Then, I realized that it might be a rhetorical question, and I was supposed to just agree.

“Yes, my Lord,” I said obediently, which seemed to satisfy the Lord. He was again playing with the ring on his finger and then waved to one of his men to come closer. After he whispered something in his ear, the man ran away just to return a few moments later with two more ‘fighters’. I was expecting to watch the exact same fight, when that pig lifted his hand again and suddenly a Level 1 Akuma appeared. I knew that it was not going end well.

“You can’t do that!” Yelled Allen angrily.

“You don’t tell me what I can and cannot do, boy.” His voice was like thunder. “Sit down and watch, if you don’t want to be next. I have plenty of these demons in store.”  
It was as much a warning as it was an order, Allen knew he had to sit down.

The two fighters had no chance against the demon, everyone knew that. It was painful to watch them trying to survive, just to be turned to sand in a few moments later. For the first time then, I witnessed an Akuma level up; I felt like I was betraying my Innocence. I looked to Lavi but his face showed no emotion, it was only his clenched fist that gave his anger away. The new Akuma bowed down to the Lord who clapped his hands happily, like he created something magnificent. It wasn’t new to me that Accommodators could be evil but he was beyond everything I’d ever seen. It would’ve been so easy to just slice his throat but I couldn’t risk it, one cannot just take the life of another Exorcist that easy. Fortunately, he didn’t try to entertain us with any more fights, it seemed like he got bored of our company.

“You can go now,” he said yawning. We all stood up but his hands latched onto my wrist when I tried to leave. “You stay, girl. I couldn’t let someone as pretty as you sleep anywhere else.”

“Sir, we would very much prefer if our sister could come with us for the night,” said Lavi peremptorily but the man didn’t seem to care.

“She’s staying, you’re going.” There was no kindness left in his voice, it was an order that they had to follow. They left me there. “Take her to a room.”

Two servants grabbed my arms again and took me back inside the mansion. After a few minutes they stopped in front of a door and tossed me inside ruthlessly. I fell onto the floor and by the time I got up, the door was locked. The room I was in was nice: the wallpaper on the was olive green with a flowery pattern on it, the chandelier that lit up the room was a beautiful piece of art. The bed that stood in the middle of the room was big, the green canopy matched the color of the walls. There wasn’t a window but a big glass door opened up to a balcony. The luxury this man was enjoying pissed me off, he deserved none of it. All he deserved was death. I threw myself onto the bed angrily and ripped those awful shoes off of my foot. I threw the high heels to the other side of the room then laid back on the bed. I was tired, mentally and emotionally as well.

I must have dozed off because when I woke up it was already dark outside. Desperately needing some fresh air, I went to the glass door that led to the balcony. The night air hit my body so suddenly it sent a cold shiver down my spine but I didn’t mind it. Even though I was not affected by Lord Skarjavec’s Innocence, I still felt like my mind was foggy. I closed my eyes and took a big breath from the air but suddenly I felt a hand over my mouth and I was pulled back into the room. The person, who was behind me, quickly tuned me around and I felt my body press against the walls. I hated to admit but I was relieved when I finally realized that those silver eyes belonged to Allen.

“I’m going to take my hand off, don’t scream, okay?” He whispered, his warm breath tickling my ear. I gasped for air as he removed his hand but he was still pressing me to the wall with his body. His clothes were cold on my skin but his body was radiating warmly. We were by the wall adjacent to the balcony, perfectly hidden behind the big closet if someone were to enter the room. Allen chose this spot tactically.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him angrily. “You should go.”

“I came to get you before that bastard does, I had no idea you wanted to stay.” He said sarcastically which made my blood boil. I would rather die a thousand deaths than be touched by that pig.

“He doesn’t come until the third night,” I explained. I wasn’t going to tell him but deep down I did appreciate the fact that he was here. Despite the mission, he wouldn’t let that man rape me. It should’ve been a normal thing, I knew that, but it was not the way the Order worked. Not as I experienced it. “What was your plan anyways? If I’m gone, he knows we are onto him.”

“We would just take him head on,” he shrugged. “You’re still wearing this?” The cold air hit my body again as he slightly pushed himself away from me to look down on me. His voice seemed faint suddenly, like he lost his confidence. Despite the chill in the air, my body became warm when I realized that he was a man, standing over me, while I am dressed like a whore. _This is what men like._ He was enjoying my misery. I was furious.

“You want me to take it off?” I asked shamelessly as I pulled him back by his shirt. Not going to lie, I found it amusing how his silver eyes widened with surprise. I leaned close this his ear, my cheeks touching his. I breathed out slowly before I spoke. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I whispered in his ear and I felt his body tense up. For a couple moments he didn’t move, even his breathing stopped, but then I felt his arms wrap around my body and pull me closer. He hugged me.

“I know you’re angry, Serena,” he said quietly. My arms were hanging next to my body but he held me up tight, I absolutely couldn’t move from the surprise. He didn’t care about me lashing out, he understood. He hugged me to ease my pain. “He won’t get away with it.”

“Not all Exorcists are good, do you understand that now, Allen?” I whispered and he released me from his hug to look me in the eye. Those silver orbs were filled with sadness, so deep that I felt like I was drowning in it. 

“He doesn’t know what it means to be us, what our true purpose is,” he said so naively that it made me snort. I wanted to push him away but he didn’t let me, he was determined to convince me of his ways. “He was chosen for a reason.”

“Maybe this reason wasn’t to be one of us,” I replied. It was admirable how much he wanted to believe in this Accommodator despite everything that we had seen. There was so much darkness in him, yet he didn’t understand it.

“You cannot see the good in anyone, can you?” He hissed at me angrily. For some reason, I liked him more when he was angry because his anger was so real and tangible.

“There is none in this man, you idiot. Were your eyes closed all day?” I countered. He was enraged now, his fist loudly collided with the wall next to my face. The boy who just hugged me a few minutes ago was gone.

“I remember every second of it,” he said, his voice shaking from the suppressed anger. “I remember sitting there, watching them die, not being able to do anything. But you…you didn’t seem to care.”

“I see. You believe that there is good in that sadist pig but you’re so ready to declare me a monster?” I didn’t care anymore that I raised my voice, he crossed a line. I might’ve lost my faith in humanity a long time ago and I might believe that no one could be truly good, but I was human. Watching innocent people die brought me no joy. I sighed painfully and pushed him away. “When you see enough evil, as bad as it sounds, you get desensitized after a while, you learn to hold it in.”

“I went too far, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I hate feeling helpless.”

“Then don’t be. You came here ready to take him head on, that doesn’t sound helpless to me, just plain stupid.” I thought he was going to be angry again, but he chuckled. It was insane how one moment we could carve each other’s eyes out and the next we were teasing each other. He annoyed and fascinated me at the same time, and he also understood my anger.

“I take you’re not coming with me,” he said and I shook my head.

“I have an idea about what his Innocence is, I just have to confirm it. Then, we need to act before he calls in his Akumas. Hopefully, once we are done with him, the demons will return to the Earl instead of going berserk.” I thought about this for quite some time now, since the Akumas were a big problem. We couldn’t just kill a fellow Exorcist but we also couldn’t face a large amount of Akumas, which only left us with one strategy. We had to take his Innocence before he could order the demons to attack us, and hope that once they realize their freedom they’d go back home.

“It is a pretty nasty Innocence,” he sighed. “I guess anything can be nasty in the wrong hands.”

“First time you didn’t sound so hopelessly naïve, beansprout,” I replied teasingly, which hit a nerve again. I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh looking at his defeated expression. 

“I’m going to kill Lavi for this when I get back,” he said as he approached the balcony. “I don’t suppose tomorrow will be easy, get some rest.” 

“Like I could sleep in this shit.” I pointed angrily to the corset. I was not very lady-like, sometimes I didn’t even have manners at all, but I didn’t care. God didn’t chose me to be an Exorcist for my manners. “But even without this stupid outfit, I doubt I could have a goodnight sleep in his house.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said gently, then jumped out of the window. For a moment, I felt like I was in one of those romantic novels, where the lover climbs up to the balcony to see his lady. Except that I was dressed like a whore and he was an Exorcist. And I hated romantic novels anyways.


	5. Ringleader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while but here is the new chapter. There are no extra warnings, the good stuff will be in the next chapter! Enjoy :)

Chapter 5: Ringleader 

The night was long and I had nothing to do, as I was not willing to fall asleep. I searched the room, I stared at the stars, I even tried to train a little bit despite the fact that the corset was digging into my skin painfully every time I moved. Time was moving slowly for a change and I was alone in the dark with my thoughts. They pulled me back to a certain individual who ruffled my feathers way too much but I couldn’t help thinking that he was the most fascinating person I had ever met. Him and Lavi were the type of Exorcists that would bring my faith back if I didn’t try so hard to push it away. It was so easy to be Serena around them, I liked being her because she could choose her past. She had a choice about what to include in her own story, she was free. That girl could have faith in them, but I couldn’t. One day, she was supposed to cease to exist and only I would remain. I dreaded that day.

When the sun finally came up I was relieved, until two servants barged in again and took me back to that room. The girls were still there, dazed just like yesterday. That brunette girl was there too, the servants pushed me towards her aggressively.

“Clean her and make her ready for the Lord,” they ordered sharply then left. I heard the door lock behind them.

“Come, Miss, the bathroom is this way,” she said gently, then started pulling me towards a door.

“What’s your name?” I asked her when we were in the bathroom. 

“Charlotte.” The name really fitted her, it was pretty. She worked quickly, soon I was able to breath freely again. I kicked the corset angrily into the corner of the bathroom which made Charlotte giggle. I somehow felt victorious that I could make this miserable girl laugh.

“Can you tell me about the ring that Lord Skarjavec wears on his right middle finger?” I asked while she was preparing the water. She mused off a little bit but then she nodded.

“He once said that it is the ring that symbolizes his kingdom. I’ve never seen him without it, now that I think about it. Why?” She asked curiously. Although Charlotte was extremely helpful, I could not completely trust her. After all, considering the man’s power, she could be his spy, and I had already asked enough strange questions for him to get suspicious if she talks. I didn’t suspect that she had told him anything, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

“Nothing important, I just noticed it,” I said with the kindest smile I could gather on my face. 

Charlotte’s hands were experienced and quick as she washed my hair. She chose my outfit, so this time it was slightly more proper, although I still had to wear a corset. She promised she wouldn’t tie it as tight, for which I was extremely grateful since it was very likely that I would find myself on the battlefield again soon. I was wearing an olive green corset with a matching skirt this time and for a change, I could wear an ivory blouse under the corset. She left my hair down which offered some more coverage as well. It wasn’t about me being a prude or ashamed of my body, no, I didn’t bother with such things. I just didn’t want the Lord to get what he wanted. I said goodbye to Charlotte when I was ready and I followed another servant back to the throne room. Lord Skarjavec was already there, so were Allen and Lavi, kneeling in front of him.

“Oh, here you are, my beauty,” he said blandly and reached one of his hands towards me. I stepped closer to him but stopped out of his reach. “Don’t be shy, come, sit on my lap.” Once again I felt nauseous as I took my place on his thigh.

“My Lord, if you don’t mind, we enjoyed our time here tremendously, but it is time we continue our travels,” spoke Lavi sharply. His determination must’ve made the man nervous, he started twisting the ring again on his fat finger. I noticed that he is wearing completely different jewelry than he was yesterday besides that ring, confirming my suspicions about the Innocence.

“I understand. And I gladly accept your sister as your parting gift.” My body tensed up as his words reached my brain and my palm started sweating. If it wasn’t for the Innocence, I wasn’t sure that Lavi and Allen would deny his request. Well, maybe not, since Allen did come to sneak me out yesterday, which meant that they might regard me higher than leaving me in his hands.

“I apologize, my Lord, but she is our only sister. We won’t leave her behind,” insisted Lavi. Lord Skarjavec’s anger sat unconcealed on his face, he clearly didn’t like to be talked back to. Then his expression turned from angry to evil and I immediately know that an awful idea was born in his pig-head. 

“I see you won’t give up, boy. In that case, go darling, kill your brothers. And you two will let her take your precious lives.” My eyes widened to his command, not because I was going to do it, but because he gave me the perfect way to them. He had no idea that his own cruelty was going to cause his demise. I slowly rose from his lap and a servant handed a sword to me. I thought about Charlotte and wondered if she had to go through this, if any of those girls had to go through this. My eyes shifted to Lavi who just nodded and I knew what I had to do. I lunged towards the redhead like I was trying to attack him but last second I let go of the sword and tossed it to Allen.

“It is the ring!” I yelled before Lavi caught me gently, then whipped my body behind him in case the Akumas were to appear. Everything happened so fast, the next thing I knew was the Lord screaming in agony and holding his bleeding arm in front of him. Allen put the sword away and kneeled down to the detached hand to remove the ring. We silently waited for a couple minutes in case the Akumas were to attack, but nothing. I let out a relieved sigh, but then I remembered Charlotte. Without a word, I sprinted out of the throne room and I didn’t stop until I reached the girls’ dressing room. I kicked the door in, which made all the girls inside scream. Well, at least they weren’t completely out of it anymore.

“Is he dead?” Ran Charlotte to me and grabbed my hand hopefully. 

“He is alive but he is missing his arm. We will let the village decide how to punish him,” I said and I watched her smile grew bigger on her face. “Now, I need to find my stuff and take this stupid corset off.”

“That’s a shame, Miss,” said Charlotte playfully. “You really do look great in it.” 

The two Exorcist reached us too but they quickly turned around as they realized that they were in a room full of very underdressed girls. I couldn’t help but laugh at their innocence, but after what we had been through I appreciated their gesture. Charlotte took my backpack out of a closet and also put my old clothes in my hands. Although I hated those dresses too, I was relieved I didn’t have to wear this whore-ible outfit anymore. Again, she helped me get the corset off and braided my hair, saying it was way more practical for the journey. I didn’t argue with her, it was actually nice that someone took care of me. She was like a sister I never had.

“You’re probably going to be busy saving other villages, but if you ever come this way, please stop by. We owe you our lives,” she said finally and hugged me. “Goodbye, Miss.”

“Call me Serena,” I said, smiling. “Take care, Charlotte.”

I took a good look at her face before I left the room, I wanted to remember her. Even though I knew I would probably never return to this town, I didn’t her memory to fade. It was strange to me, how connected I felt to her, but I didn’t mind it. As twisted as the situation was, she made me feel normal again. With her, I was just a girl who hated corsets, not a liar. When I left the room Lavi was gone, it was only Allen waiting for me outside. The scarf was gone from his head but his left eye remained inactive.

“Lavi?” I asked and I noticed that he was still holding the ring in his hand. “I didn’t want to be right.” I don’t know why, I wanted him to know that losing a potential Exorcist was just as painful to me too. It was really a shame that such a powerful Innocence ended up with this man, he could’ve been a valuable asset otherwise.

“I wanted to kill him, Serena,” he said quietly, and extremely ashamed. I didn’t blame him, nor was I surprised. That man was a disgrace to all of us and humanity, he didn’t deserve to live after what he’d done. At the same time, we weren’t murderers, our job was not to punish criminals and declare judgement over those who broke the law. We were saviors for the Akuma, they were the only beings we were supposed to want to kill.

“He was no better than an Akuma despite being a human. Just because he didn’t fail in God’s eyes, it doesn’t mean that he deserved to be saved. You saved him but remember, mercy can be a dangerous thing,” I warned him and he didn’t object. Somewhere deep inside he had to know that he was too weak to take a life. I knew I sounded wise and experienced but words were easy, I had never killed a man by choice. 

“Is this what they teach at your branch?” He asked and I could sense his disapproval towards this way of teaching. Little did he know that it was his own branch’s words. I didn’t believe that he had a problem with what I said, he knew I was right. He just didn’t believe such things were supposed to be said out loud. I just nodded and he left it like that, however I could tell that his mind was racing. He got like that often, his silver eyes always filled up with sadness to those thoughts. We walked through the halls in silence but thankfully we stumbled upon Lavi soon after.

“I talked to the Finder unit, they will take care of this mess,” the redhead informed us. “Why are you two looking so sour?”

“I’m hungry,” replied Allen quickly which made me realize how absolutely famished I was too. “I am sure they don’t mind if we help ourselves out in the kitchen.”

“I am sure they will after they see how much you two can eat,” said Lavi cheerfully but didn’t oppose the idea. 

After some inquiry, we were able to find the kitchen easily and we didn’t hesitate to jump on the food that was prepared for lunch. In a matter of fifteen minutes all of it was gone and I suddenly felt extremely exhausted. I realized that the only thing keeping me awake was the adrenalin rush from this morning’s events but it was all gone now. However, I knew that we had to keep going so I poured myself a huge mug of coffee.

“You really didn’t sleep last night,” said Allen when he noticed me downing the coffee like my life was dependent on it. There was a little, playful smile on his face as he said those words. 

“Something happened?” Asked Lavi suddenly, his eyes jumping between the two of us. At that moment it became clear: Allen never told Lavi he came to see me. He knew the redhead wouldn’t approve. It was a strange feeling to share a secret with him, I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it. All I knew what that I didn’t mind it and that it scared me.

“Beansprout is probably referring to the bags under my eyes. Rude,” I said with pretense anger in my voice. Lavi’s laugh was followed by a painful “ouch” when Allen punched him in the arm. The redhead didn’t understand why he was the one punished when I was the one calling him names.

“I don’t hit women,” Allen explained, and hit Lavi again to emphasize his point. Their bickering was very entertaining; I didn’t even notice that I was laughing with them.

After robbing the kitchen, it was time for us to head out. To my greatest surprise, the villagers were waiting for us outside the mansion, cheering for us as we made our way through the crowds. The people in the village didn’t have much, they still gave us bread, meat, and some wine as a parting gift. Never in my life before I had felt so appreciated and useful, even though we didn’t even kill one single Akuma. It felt good to do good, and simultaneously I felt some of the darkness in me retreating to a deeper part of my consciousness.

It was clear that the events in the village had made the two Exorcists more comfortable in my presence, they stopped talking about trivial things. Instead, their conversation would always go back to the Earl and the war ahead of us. Sometimes, they would even ask me for my opinion, which was something other Order members I knew would’ve never done. Sometimes, they would bring up Lord Skarjavec and analyze the events over and over again, trying to understand why God had chosen such an evil person as an Accommodator.

“I think I know now what you meant, Serena,” said Allen, turning his head back towards me, as I was always walking behind them. It was a tactical formation: I had to be in the back in case an Akuma appeared. It had been two days since we left the village and we were a couple hours out from the next town. I was still exhausted since we only slept for a few hours in the woods. My body felt heavy but I looked at the white-haired boy curiously. “God had a reason to give the Innocence to Lord Skarjavec.”

“What do you mean?” Asked Lavi, confused. Oh, true, the redhead wasn’t there for this conversation.

“I believe God was testing us,” he explained. “He wanted to show us that evil can hide among us and not even the Innocence will recognize it. It was a test to see our true colors and to show us the reality of this world.” His words fell heavy on us, we remained in silence until we reached the next village. The sun was already setting and my legs were dangerously close to giving up on me.

We went into the first inn that we found but I didn’t care, I was barely able to hold my eyelids open. I ripped my key out of Lavi’s hand and disappeared to find my room. It didn’t matter what the room looked like, I fell onto the bed and immediately sunk into deep sleep.

Since I went to sleep fairly early in the afternoon, I woke up to the sun just rising over the horizon. I didn’t expect Allen and Lavi waking up in the next few hours, so I decided to venture out to town and buy some necessities. It was early in the morning but the merchants were already awake selling fresh food and drinks. My first trip took me to the pharmacy since I had absolutely no healing supplies, and it was very likely that we would run into some trouble again soon. I bought scalpels in three different sizes, bandages, ointments, and various herbal treatments. I was even able to find some vials where I could store my blood, so I wouldn’t have to keep cutting myself. After that, I decided to buy some new clothes since the ones I currently owned were not only hideous but also very impractical for both travel and combat. Allen and Lavi were supposed to receive new coats from the Order by today but I needed to get one for myself, for we will be heading into the mountains soon. I was very satisfied with my purchases and my speed, I was certain that I would be back before the others woke up. I was wrong.

“Good morning.” Lavi greeted me from inside of my room, he seemed rather angry. “Where were you?”

“I went to get supplies,” I said and shrugged. “I don’t know what the big deal is, Lavi.”

“What if you ran into an Akuma?” He asked and his anger sounded a lot like worry now. I sighed and I threw my things on the bed. 

“Do you think they didn’t teach me how to get away from them? You seem to forget where I grew up.” I was angry again, even though my day started out so nice. He didn’t need to come here to lecture me.

“You are our comrade now, it matters to me where you go,” he said holding his hand up in front of his body. It was new to me that they were worried about me, I didn’t know how to react. No one had ever been worried about my well-being before.

“Are you going to go all sentimental on me?” I asked teasingly which made him laugh. I had to admit I liked his laugh, that overly happy, deep, manly laugh. Yes, Lavi was already a man, a rather handsome one, and he knew that very well.

“I bet there is a soft heart behind that thick skin of yours,” he said playfully as he walked closer to me. I had to tilt my head high to be able to look at him. “Allen seems to be able to get under it pretty well.”

“Che. He just pisses me off,” I said turning my head away from him, pouting. 

“You really are just like him,” he noted, laughing. I was confused.

“Like Allen? No chance.” Outrageous, he didn’t just compare me to that beansprout. 

“No, someone else. You’ll meet him one day,” he replied, still with a huge smile on his face. I really, desperately wanted to wipe it off his face. Somehow, however, it made me feel like everything was okay as long as he smiled. “It is time for us to head out. Are you ready?”

“I’ll meet you downstairs.” The things I had just bought were still on the bed, so I needed a couple minutes to stuff everything in my backpack. It felt nice to throw out some of those hideous dresses to make room for the new ones. 

The mountains we had to cross weren’t too high, so there was no need for us to hire a guide. According to Lavi’s calculations, we should be able to cross in two days’ time and meet up with the rest of their group. Although the mountains were not supposed to be overly dangerous, the villagers did warn us to be careful. They said that lately there have been multiple occasions that people didn’t return. If that was really the case and there were some Akuma in the mountains, we had one more reason to cross it. Our path was steep but manageable, we were able to hold up a good pace. I suspected that Allen and Lavi could’ve gone faster but I was holding them back. My own weakness was very bothersome, but unfortunately I couldn’t do anything about it. 

“I guess the villagers were onto something,” spoke Lavi when we arrived to a big cleft, created by a fast stream. I imagined it would be painful to fall in it. Once upon a time there was a bridge but it was gone now, its remnants were hanging on the other side. “Good thing you have me.” The redhead took out his hammer and placed its now grown head on the ground. He reached his hand to me, but when I took it, he yanked me closer and lifted me up, holding me by my waits.

“Are you serious?” I yelled at him, trying to wiggle my way out of his arms but he was stronger. I could hear Allen’s laugh behind me, who contrary to me, was allowed to stand on the handle on his own.

“Hold on,” said Lavi looking back at Allen. “Extend!” 

To his command we moved away from the ground and swiftly started approaching the other side. We were almost there, when suddenly I heard Allen yell something and the next moment I was falling towards the river helplessly. The water was just as cold as I expected it to be, I felt like someone rolled a thousand-pound rock over me. The stream was extremely fast, it was already hard to keep my head over the water, let alone try to swim to the side. There was nothing to swim to anyways, the water was high, there was no river bank. I let the water take my body down with it, hoping there would be something I could hold on to soon. My prayers were answered, soon there was a huge rock in the middle of the stream, splitting it in half. I closed my eyes and put my arms in front of me to dull the impact. My body hit the hard surface so strongly, for a second everything went dark. My body reacted, however, I held onto the rock tight and pulled myself on top. I was sitting on top, panting, water dripping profusely from my clothing. Allen and Lavi were nowhere to be seen and I had nowhere to go.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
